Yesterday We hit a bit of reality! When this first all started and in our first few days at the hospital, I was introduced to a mom who had finished treatments with her little boy just a few months prior. Her son also was diagnosed with AML, we were sort of in the same situation, except she was pregnant, and had a baby all while dealing with cancer. She just happened to be on the floor, and some of the nurses asked her to stop by and talk to me. We just chatted for a minute, she gave me her information. She gave us a few pointers, like getting our own mini fridge to keep in our room (that has been a lifesaver). She was so wonderful, and had only good things to say about the nurses, and her experience with cancer. Well, come to find out yesterday morning, they were back after 9 months cancer free, his cancer was back, and they were back on the floor. Talk about a flood of emotions.
As if one dose of reality wasn't enough, there is another mother (I hope you dont mind me sharing) here that volunteers. I had heard from someone else that her daughter had AML a few years back. The mom was the bone marrow match, and they had gone to a BMT ( bone marrow transplant). Her daughter was 16, and ultimately because of such strong and severe cancer cells, she did not make it. I had a minute yesterday to talk to her about her experience, she mentioned it's not something she likes to bring up, because she doesn't have that wonderful ending, but it is not something she minds talking about and sharing. I am grateful to her, and to see how wonderful she is and how much her life has been changed by what she went through.
The reality is that just because you may finish treatments, your fight is not over. Just like another mother (www.littleairbear.blogspot.com) who has been finished with treatments for 7 1/2 months says she would be lying if she didn't dread the visits to the clinic to check to make sure her little girl is still in the clear.
It's true, the fear is always there. But what it all comes down to is those feelings you have, the feelings that I was blessed with when this all started. I always come back to the knowledge that everything is going to be okay. Sure your mind can wander, and you can second guess your decisions. But after talking with Nick about all of these wonderful mothers I have met along this path. The reality is....it's going to be okay!
At church on Sunday There was the most beautiful song sung in Relief Society, I truly needed this reminder.
Come Unto Him
by Sam Cardon and Steve Jones
He came to us. He loved us that much. There isn't a soul he's unwilling to touch. No life so dark, he cannot light. No sadness, no sorrow, he cannot right.
Come unto Him.
He came to earth. He lived as a man. There's no earthly care, he can't understand. No earthly pain he did not feel. No hunger, no heartache, he cannot heal.
Come unto Him.
Come learn of Him. He's meek and humble, and lowly of heart. Come unto Him.
He lived like us, acquainted with grief. To those who believe, he offers relief. He opens eyes. He forgives sin for the humble--the faithful, who follow Him. Come unto Him."