With a Heavy Heart.....

This Sweet Boy........

 Loves some of those Grandmas Double Chocolate Chip Cookies!

Aidan McSpadden forever changed my mind, my heart and my faith.  I first met his mother, Kelli McSpadden the first week Faye was diagnosed, I was sitting in the room with Faye, (in that first week you feel like you are spinning, you know you have to fight through all of this unknown, and you tell yourself you are going to be strong, you are going to fight with every fiber of your being!)  But until you meet another Mom who was in your position at one point, you are unsure if it is possible!  Some of the nurses on the 9th floor sent Kelli to talk to me, she had stopped by to visit, at that time Aidan was done with treatments.  Aidan was also diagnosed with AML, he had finished his 5 rounds of treatments and was at home at the time.  When Aidan was diagnosed his mom was pregnant with their second son.  So while Aidan was in the hospital being treated for cancer, Kelli and Jared went and delivered another baby.  I cannot even begin to comprehend the amount of strain that had to put on them, their minds, and bodies being pulled in so many directions.  I was grateful to talk to Kelli because I felt like I could relate to her, seeing her and talking to her realizing that it could be done and I could come out of this a stronger person because of it.  Because I saw Kelli at that time and she was strong, she was in no way misleading, I could tell from her it was going to be a trial, but I felt it was something we could do!  Little did I know how much strength I would gain from the McSpadden family.  

At the End of July 2011 Faye and I were wandering the halls, when I saw a door decorated for Aidan.  I saw his mom in the room, I didn't go talk to her I didn't know if she even remembered me.  And I didn't know what to say.  Aidan had relapsed, a mothers worst nightmare!  So yet again they were back on the 9th floor.  The new plan was to get Aidan in remission, find a bone marrow match, and  take him to transplant.  

While on the 9th floor, Aidan introduced us to the Butterfly Garden!  Faye and Aidan had the greatest time here in the Butterfly Garden!

 

Aidans first round of chemo to get rid of the cancer again they found was

not working, I talked to Kelli after this happened, and she said "If I

hear the words reevaluate again I am going to scream"

This is the day we were going home for good!  We had finished our treatments.  Coincidentally this day was also the same day Aidan was headed down to get a bone marrow biopsy to see if the chemo was working.  I remember very vividly these moments.  I remember saying our goodbys, and I remember closing the door and crying into Nicks arms hoping and praying that Aidan and his family were going to receive some good news that afternoon.

 Best Friends!  these two thoroughly enjoyed each other.  They would go on walks through the halls with each other, they would play "Guess Who I Am"  and of course my most favorite Aidan memory ever was hearing his little voice yell "Miss Faye"  down the hall, when he would come wandering to our room looking for her!  

I could just squeeze this little boy, he took a piece of my heart from the first moment I met him.  

At that time the McSpaddens received the news the chemo was working, and they would prepare to go to transplant.  Aidan made it through transplant, and also was able to be home, but in March of this year he again relapsed.  His new marrow was strong enough to get rid of the cancer, but also it was strong enough to fight off everything else.  

A few weeks ago we were able to go visit Aidan and his mom and the 9th floor.  His mom said he was sleeping for most of the day, and couldnt keep anything in on either end.  I made him some t-shirts that snapped on both shoulders, so it would be easier to be hooked up to the IV tower.  Poor Aidan you could tell he was not himself,  it was nice to talk to his Mom, she again seemed so strong.  

Here he is wearing one of the shirts we took him.  He didn't say much when we were there, but Kelli texted me this picture not soon after we left telling us that he just had to put that shirt on right as he saw it. 

But  on May 4th I received a text, and a post went up on Aidans facebook page "Aidan is now eternally cancer free. Today at 3 pm he took his last

breath here on earth. His breathing issues worsened over night and his
organs began to shut down. He is in heaven tonight looking down on us
and smiling because he will no longer have to suffer. We love you to the
moon and back little angel. Rest in peace." ~ Kelli McSpadden

Sharing this news with Faye I was reminded of the innocence of children.  I told her Aidan had passed away, her reply was "Oh so he is not in the hospital anymore!" I told her he was not going to be with his Mom and Dad anymore, that he went up to heaven to live with Jesus.  I also explained to her that one day though his family would get to be together again one day.  It didn't quite click with her!  But it was something that needed explained to her! 

This afternoon Faye and I will attend his funeral, also when I told Faye we were going to see Aidans Mommy and Daddy tomorrow, Fayes response was "Are we going to go to the Butterfly Garden?"

So dear sweet Aidan you have stolen our hearts, may we forever remember you, keep you in our hearts and spread the joy you so freely shared with us!  And make sure you eat all the Double Chocolate Chip Cookies your heart desires, and play in all the Butterfly Gardens for as long as you want!

And to those of you reading this we ask that you keep the McSpadden family in your prayers and thoughts.  Because I cannot even begin to comprehend the amount of strength this new chapter in their lives will need!

Here is a link to his obituary: Aidan